I recently did a Facebook post that went something like this:
“It took me a while, but I’ve finally come to accept the fact that when you’re in a relationship with a Narcissist, NOTHING you do will ever be good enough. I would have never been thin enough, pretty enough, or submissive enough. No amount of material possessions or giving him what he wanted emotionally, physically, and psychologically would have made one bit of difference. I now KNOW and ACCEPT that these were not MY issues to take on, but they were things being projected on to me because of HIS own demons that he refused to deal with.”
The point I want to drive home is exactly what the title says: Accepting It As It Truly Is. Believe me, it’s NOT an easy task and embarrassingly, I have to admit that although it didn’t take me 20+ years to acknowledge his behavior and know that it was unacceptable (and yet I continued to deal with him due to my own issues, but that’s another blog in and of itself), it did take me 26 years to finally ACCEPT things about myself, about him and about me and him as a unit which led to me being able to put a label on our relationship dynamic and ultimately leading to resources that would help me on my journey to heal.